Intuition

"The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn't want to be held on to."

i feel as if...

i don't exist

as if

my heart is limp

tripped

from the stares

and glares,

shared

through the

pairs of eyes, giving room for emotions to

slip and slide into imaginable places...created by me..

So is it me to blame?

To shame

myself by attempting to

claim a realm of chaotic joy?

to facilitate an area of which only my ideas co-exist

no matter how the impossible their existence is

because

common sense is now nonsense

and my own sense becomes the only sense

in this world of my illusions

sketched by my assumptions

colored by my perceptions and detailed by my

"intuition"...

In this place,

my fantasy

of which has come to an end

because i no longer

exist

in

it.

Yours Truly,

Clammy<3

My Cure.

Bed, laying. Wall, gazing.

Pillow, wetting. Sheets, staining.

Tears, flowing. Gums, bleeding.

Eyes, Closing. Heart, throbbing.

Sounds, fading. Pain, spreading

Problem, solving.

Afigure.

When you look into my eyes

how would you know

what lays

beneth

me?

what can

you use to

outline my identity?

Grenched with sorrow

in search of felicity

with true empathy,

And see through my

deception to where

lies my

sensitivity?

For in this place

i need company....

A figure with heart and creativity

to be ale to reassemble missing pieces

of me...

to connect with me

and easily see

the love needed

within me

A figure to

...lay inside me

....to love me?

Yours Truthly,

Clam

Motherly love

She shivers in her crib. Her teeth claps incessantly, applauding the cold brisk atmostphere. Her eyes sweat, in a paranoid attempt to find her. Her nose is tensed up with blood rushing to its tip and feeling of harsh wind pricking her throat. Shriving and blue, are her tiny legs that never had a chance lay still on a bland, wet cloth. Her heart pounds like african drums during a sacrifice. Her sight starts to blur as she is being pulled out of her world. Slowly and painfully her blues, greens and pinks mirage to turn white, her white starts to fade and now she is caged in the dark. Now she smiles in silence and say, "Job well done."

She has learned the definition of Hopelessness. The hands of the woman she left her life within just to throw her trust away. Though still alive, this four year old was taught this by her own mother ; leaving her for days to go and do her selfish deeds while her daughter awaits her return. Little did she know, young Anabel just learned the lesson of her lifetime. An event that watered the seed to future wraths, sprouting out of toxic soil, to bloom flowers with venimous nectum. Such a sad faith...could have been avoided by a hint of care. But till this day, grown Anabel whispers...

"Job well done mother," she says..." job well done."

So Far...

Life has a funny way of revealing its true essence to us. Bad experiences to create good ones; Confusing times to create understandable situations; Sad hearts to create happy souls...life uses this method to test our being and how much we trust ourselves. By exposing us to the bad first and then revealing the true meaning to us in the end, we find ourselves on a journey to find what is most important to us. To some is family, others best friends and with most it's both. But these are just secondary elements that we mistaken as a 1st priority. What most fail to recognize is that they, themselves, are the most important.

Yes this sounds selfish but its the truth. Without ourselves, our family and friends wont matter. If we really didnt care about ourselves, we would not be able to care for others; for we must be alive to care for them. Whether physically, emotionally or mentally, we must be alive. Our health in those senses might not be perfect but the point is that we must be alive. We must love ourselves before the other factors, such as family and friends, can fully come into play. We might not like what we are turning into as life strikes at any waken momments, but we must realize that, in the end, we are the ones that matter. It is up to us to change ourselves, not anyone else. We cannot fully enjoy the company of our loved ones untill we see that we are beautiful. & I trully believe we all are beautiful...including my enemies. Not everyone will like you or love you but there ARE people who will, whether you are surrounded by them or not.

Message; Life is an obstacle on its own, our duty is to see it as an opportunity to make ourselves stronger. We must lie to ourself in order to know who we are. & we should always remember...the sun must sink in order to rise again

Your Truly,

Clam ♥

Life is wonderful...

I actually cried while listening to this. Making so much sense, Jason Mraz sings the truths of life.