Last night, i prayed that you would take my life away...but yet im still alive. Is it becuase i did something bad that you don't want to grant my wish? I have nothing left of me to give and i haven't been recieving any thing so what is there for me to have? why am i still here.Let me guess, to do a good deed in someone elses life right?? God please take me away! im begging of you...please. I want to erase all traces of my existance(not that i ever mattered)...my only regret is that i wouln't be with him anymore and i swear he and my brother are the only one stopping me...the only ones holding my hand so i don't jump of the face of this earth while everyone else watches. Wait...whose even watching? WHO EVEN CARES?...im tired of all the broken promises, the appearent lies,and ovious selfishness i constantly get from people. I can honestly say i dont wanna belong. I care so much for poeple that only care about themselves. I put their happiness before mines while they put their happiness, "loved ones" and then desirs before the thought of me comes to mind. You know how i know...actions speak louder than words. They swear all they have to do is please my ears by saying what they think i wanna hear while they are unconciously scareing my eyes as i watch contradiction occur first hand. And everytime it happens tears like puss flow out of my eyes as a new scare forms.huuuh...all in all im tired. i need to leave. no one needs me here."She" is perfectly fine without me although shes happy with "him" and its nore apparent every single day.although ill miss them,my mom has my brother and my dad has his kids in ghana so i can be less of a burden...i was never the perfect child they wanted anyway.The only ones i would truly miss is him and my brother soo God if you ever take me away one day, i want them to know i love them forever more. God, just know im never going to take my life away but when you decide its my turn to go[ hopefully soon] dont hesitate...just do it as fast as possible. But untill then thank you for the gift of life. It is surly the best blessing one can ever have...but i guess im not desearving of it. so untill then, i'll just wait pat i e n t l y =).
In Jesus name...Amen
Yours truly,
content Clam ♥
